Are you pretty well set in your career and still wasting money on rent?  Come on, take the bullfighter by his nuts and let’s get this show on the road. From the Bushwick native getting angry about gentrification to my Williamsburg friend Judy who may get lucky enough to be bought out by the building’s new owner, it’s time to make wine out of those sour grapes!

Ok, so I don’t know the Bushwick woman’s situation. On the other hand, Judy is sane enough to know that her eviction can potentially lead to something positive. She has her head on straight and will do the right thing. But for those of you making excuses as to why you can’t buy your own place, I’ve got counter logic. *This doesn’t pertain to you if you really don’t want to/cannot own for good reason.

So how is being priced out/evicted a positive thing? Well, I’m a firm believer in “Something better will come along.” That better scenario is YOU becoming the property owner so that nobody can control your housing situation ever again. Unless of course, you default on your mortgage or you happen to live where some developer wants to build a stadium.

Prices are too damn high? Well the first thing you need to ask yourself is why you are being such a diva. No, you don’t have to live in Cobble Hill/ Park Slope/ West Village/ Williamsburg/ insertoverpricedneighborhoodhere. Get over yourself! Haven’t you heard that Queens is the new Brooklyn and The Bronx is the new Queens? Parts of New Jersey are affordable. What about Yonkers? Did you know that you can get a cute Victorian for $150k in Beacon? Look at this $28,900 house in Newburgh! Holy crap, I might buy it myself!

Down payment and loan issues? Ok, lemme go back to my first house when we didn’t have a pot to piss in and my credit was in the toilet. Luckily, our mommies helped out. We are far from being trustafarians and in fact, my folks were totally working class. But a few dollars from each mom plus a co-signing from my mother on the loan helped. Unfortunately, not everyone has family members (Don’t forget to hit up brothers and sisters!) who can help.

So, you gotta come up with your own shekels. Do you realize how much you can actually put away if you tried? Give up the lattes, the cigarettes, the beer. Cook dinner instead of ordering in. Use coupons. Skip the vacation. Buy second hand clothes (It’s vintage. It’s cool.) It won’t be terribly fun, but give it a shot for a few months and you just might come up with the closing costs (yeah, don’t forget to include that).

Buy a fixer upper. You don’t want to or you don’t know anything about renovating? Boo hoo. Learn how, you milksop. Buying a “renovated” place does not mean it won’t turn into a money pit. Do it yourself so you know what’s behind those walls. Pay less. Work on it over time. Put some sweat into it.

“But I’m not handy.” There are people out there who fix drains and roof leaks for a living. They are called contractors and handypersons. Hire them. But really, you should have a basic understanding of your house because a large percentage of these folks will rip you off. True story! Or just buy a condo and pay for maintenance.

Finally, try for a two family. Let those sorry ass tenants pay your mortgage this time around. Feels good, doesn’t it?

By Tali Wee of Zillow

Purchasing a home is typically the most expensive purchase a person makes in his or her lifetime, so it’s understandable why buyers are focused on a property’s small details. Searching for a home can be discouraging, especially in competitive markets where properties sell quickly, because shoppers don’t have much time to make decisions. For that reason, home sellers should prepare their homes to make the best impressions on buyers.

Some features that often deter home buyers from making offers are elaborate additions that the current owners made with the intention of adding value to their homes. For example, a homeowner may have dreamt of having a koi pond someday; when it’s finally a realistic possibility, the owner installs the large pond in the averaged sized backyard. After enjoying the ideal pond for years, the homeowner decides to sell the home thinking this addition should increase the property’s value. Instead, the specialized feature limits the number of interested buyers since many prefer additional yard to a koi pond. The installation then represents a renovation the buyer would have to make, possibly reducing the purchase price they’re willing to pay. Calculating the costs of a mortgage, the interest over the life of a loan, the price of property taxes and insurance, in addition to renovating the backyard can be overwhelming for potential buyers.

Before homeowners get carried away with making renovations and anticipating positive returns on their investments (ROI), consider avoiding these four projects that may decrease resale value.

1. Swimming Pools

Just as the koi pond is a deterrent for some homebuyers, so are swimming pools. Buyers might be disinterested in a pool if they don’t swim or don’t want the responsibility of keeping the pool clean and the watered conditioned. If buyers have small children or pets that do not swim, the pool could be a safety hazard. In addition, swimming pools represent an additional liability for homeowners. Though some home shoppers specifically seek properties with pools, in areas with cooler climates, pools could be a strong deterrent for the majority of buyers.

2. Massive Walk-in Closets & Home Theatres

In general, home buyers prefer a bedroom over a room specifically designed for a single purpose. A bedroom converted into an elaborate walk-in closet could be a dream coming true for a buyer, where most buyers would find more value in an additional bedroom or a room with more square footage. Home theaters also appeal to a narrow audience, but such installations limit the options for most home shoppers.

3. Garage Conversions

Another conversion that homeowners may assume would add value to their properties is the garage. Home sellers should not underestimate the value of a garage for home buyers. Although converting a garage into a family room, bedroom or man cave appeals to some buyers, the renovation limits the original function of the space and therefore reduces the number of interested parties.

4. Lavish Landscaping

Though beautifully landscaped yards and garden beds exponentially increase the curb appeal of homes which impress home shoppers, all the foliage requires upkeep. Not unlike a massively overgrown garden, a highly tended to yard implies major work. If buyers aren’t interested in maintaining the extravagant landscaping, the sellers limit their list of buyers and do not reap a return for their pricey investments.

With all renovations, homeowners run the risk of missing the mark, losing money and even decreasing the resale values of their homes. Some high-end kitchen and bathroom upgrades even have low ROI. The best renovation rule is to stay neutral with upgrades and avoid specialized features. Specificity narrows the range of interested buyers. Additionally, extreme projects may seem like extra benefits to one person while another may view them as drawbacks, even lowering the offer price to cover costs of correcting the remodel. Consider these variables when preparing to sell a home and stick to low maintenance but traditional remodels for the greatest ROI.