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Carolines Night from Hell

Carolines Night from Hell published on 5 Comments on Carolines Night from Hell

Veteran comedian Richard Lewis played Carolines on Broadway over the weekend and I was lucky enough to grab tickets to the show. Never been to Carolines and guess what? Won’t be going back any time soon.

The tickets were close to $40 and there was a 2 drink minimum. No problem. Grab a drink at the bar. They “suggested” we check our coats for an extra 2 bucks. My husband was under the impression that the coat check was mandatory. Whatev. Another few bucks for the bathroom attendant. I hate when there’s a bathroom attendant and I’m guilted into tipping her. I can turn on my own water and take a paper towel, thanks.

Anyhoo, I digress. So, it’s a nice place. Not the dive bars or fast food joints I frequent (I kid. Haven’t in a good 20 years). I don’t have a problem with any of this so far, but it’s background for my story.

Here’s my beef….

After we were seated and before the show started, I left my table to relieve myself and have another awkward moment with the bathroom attendant. I fell down a step in the middle of the room and twisted my ankle. Yes, I’m a klutz, but the people who saw it and my own husband who knows how clumsy I am said that the step was in a dangerous spot. It was dark in the club and although there was a single fluorescent strip on the stair, there was no warning of it coming up. Especially as the sound system came up right before it.

So, my ankle swelled to the size of a plum. The manager and bartender gave me ice and helped me back to my seat. They were nice enough. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Totally related to Richard Lewis’ old age shtick. Nearly peed my pants at his Shecky Greene reference!

End of the night, we get the bill. Nothing comped. Our dinner. Our 2 drink minimum. Really? I’m crippled for a week (or three) from your venue and you’re still sticking me with the 2 drinks per person?

I’m not litigious, but I’m not happy. The cab fare back to Brooklyn instead of a subway, the crutches, the Ace bandages, the week of sitting on my ass, the dog walker….it all adds up. And Carolines couldn’t even acknowledge I was hurt in their club?

So, that’s it. I’m adding Carolines to Walmart list of places to boycott. I’ll find my laughs elsewhere, thank you.

*PS: Fun Facts!

* Shecky Greene is still alive.

* Richard Lewis is credited with inventing “_____ from hell”.

Best Brooklyn Gift Ever

Best Brooklyn Gift Ever published on 2 Comments on Best Brooklyn Gift Ever

Know how to make a proper egg cream? Fear not. Junior’s has glasses with the recipe inscribed right on them. And they are cu-ute!

The glasses have been around forever, but I just noticed them last weekend when I went for my latkes. Unfortunately, they are not on the Junior’s website. You can find the glasses or an egg cream kit (as above) online, but if you’re in Brooklyn, pick them up directly from Junior’s for 5 bucks.

Yes, 5 bucks. They each come in their own Junior’s box too. Can’t beat that!

Gorgeous Government Buildings

Gorgeous Government Buildings published on

Having grown up in NYC, I take many things for granted. Architecture is one of them. 45 years of seeing the same buildings. Why would I stop and look now?

Well, over the weekend I visited the Museum of the American Indian for the first time in the downtown location. Walked into the building and was blown away by the interior. Seriously, blown away.

The Alexander Hamilton U.S. Custom House, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, is one of the finest examples of Beaux Arts buildings in the city. The winding staircase! The rotunda with the huge skylight (it was leaking)! The marble everywhere! I’d be beyond thrilled to have a living room as nice as the ladies room.

Go visit. The museum is free because it’s a government building. Good museum too!

And look at all these other beautiful government buildings. I just pass them all the time. Maybe now I’ll stop and say hello.

Ruder Than You

Ruder Than You published on 4 Comments on Ruder Than You

When Travel and Leisure released their list of the rudest cities in America, New York wasn’t on top. Who beat us? Los Angeles! I recall feeling robbed when I read the article. We’re number 1! We’ll show those tanned bastards!

Well, someone is doing something about it. “Rude NYC” recently launched so we can all share our rudeness with each other and the world. People are encouraged to send stories, videos, photos and tweets.

Some examples:

From @TheCitizeNY on twitter – Frail older woman w/ luggage, getting on airport bus, asks driver for assistance. His reply: Not in my job description, lady.

Couple is taking a picture outside of a parking garage in Herald Square (weird?) homeless guy walks up to them and says to the man – “Dude, come on I could do better than her!” – Submitted by  David J.

Woman is crying on the phone, walking slowly holding up sidewalk traffic, man decides to cut her off and says “GET OVER IT!” – submitted by Jim K

Psychic is trying to get me to come into her storefront for a reading in Midtown East back in the fall – I reject and keep walking, she says “you’re going to come down with cancer”. Ouch. – Submitted by Jane K.

We’re taking back the title, baby!

NYC Museums @ Your Fingertips

NYC Museums @ Your Fingertips published on

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Talented New York photographer and web developer Dan Nguyen has come up with a list of all the museums in the 5 boroughs. “Yeah, so?” You say. Well, it’s not just a list.

I Heart NY Museums is an interactive beta site which allows the visitor to view admission prices as well as addresses and hours. It looks kinda like a spread sheet with a map on top.

The focus is on price. Which museums are merely “suggested” donation and which are the most expensive? Are there free hours such as MOMA’s Friday evenings? It’s all right there in front of you.

Currently, there is no phone app. Nguyen is working on the data so he or someone else can make this awesome app.

via Brokelyn

Offensive NYC Veg Restaurant Guide

Offensive NYC Veg Restaurant Guide published on 6 Comments on Offensive NYC Veg Restaurant Guide

One day last year while I was in the Brooklyn Museum bookshop, I picked up a copy of “Veg Out, Vegetarian Guide to New York City“. I forgot I had it until yesterday. Is it a good guide? Well, it’s not bad, although the second edition I bought is slightly outdated.

But the problem isn’t the restaurant listings. Author Justin Schwartz’s comments on certain neighborhoods made my jaw drop. He speaks of Crown Heights and Flatbush as if it’s 1980…and even back then those areas were not as bad as he makes them out to be.

From a paragraph on Street Smarts… “A word of caution: If you’re a vegetarian freshman college student just off the bus from a farm in rural PA or a tourist visiting from Kansas, please don’t hop on a the subway alone at night to get some great Caribbean food in Crown Heights or Flatbush. Seriously, don’t.

Ok, maybe he’s more insulting to out-of-towners than the residents of Crown Heights or Flatbush. The book is probably geared towards tourists as it’s a guide book. But he doesn’t stop there…

Street-smart Manhattanites and residents of trendy neighborhoods like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights may think I’m exaggerating. Let’s put it this way: if Crown Heights is so safe, why is the chef at the Caribbean Delicacy working behind bulletproof Plexiglas?

Hmm. Plexi is old school. Hello, there were still some plexi places in “trendy” Park Slope up until the early 2000’s! Maybe the Plexi was installed back when the neighborhood was rough and they just never got around to taking it out? Yes, there are plenty of places with Plexi still around, but as shops renovate and as new businesses come in, the Plexi is becoming a thing of the past.

And why would only street smart residents of trendy neighborhoods think it’s an exaggeration? How about us folks living in these untrendy neighborhoods? Exaggerating? Yes. Insulting? Uh, ya-ah!

I figured I’d cut the guy some slack. The guide was written in 2006. Maybe it was ever so slightly grittier back then. So, I visited his website. From a 2009 blog post: “Crown Heights isn’t for everybody. Frankly, if I was a young woman alone after dark, I wouldn’t even think about going there. in fact, I wouldn’t even think about going there alone after dark myself, being a 6-foot tall guy. You definitely have to know your way around — you don’t want to look lost in Crown Heights.

Wow. Am I overreacting? I mean, can’t the guy warn people it ain’t the Upper East Side without magnifying the situation? He makes it sound like a friggin’ war zone. A word of caution is fine, but dude…people live in these neighborhoods and walk around after dark all-the-time.

FYI, Mr. Schwartz, even white people.

Dogs Welcome!

Dogs Welcome! published on 1 Comment on Dogs Welcome!

Gone are the days when you had to leave little Fido or Fifi alone while you went out on the town. Fido Factor is a beta site that allows you to search local pet friendly facilities.

Looking for a dog friendly restaurant, bar or hotel? B-i-n-g-o. FF provides maps and reviews. Parks, pet services, yada yada!

But check it out. Hel-lo iPhone App! Fido Factor is located in some pretty major cities (of course, NYC) so you can hit the road with your mutt and research that perfect watering hole for both of you whilst on your way.

Just make sure your dog understands the definition of “watering hole”.

NYC Weekend Getaways

NYC Weekend Getaways published on 6 Comments on NYC Weekend Getaways

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For the first time in over 10 years, I don’t have a country escape from NYC. Now that the weather is showing signs of improvement, it’s all about my summer vacay. I’m assuming it’s wise to book a rental like asap, right? No, I don’t want to go to the same place for the entire season. A week or a few weekends breaking from the Big A will suffice.

Now, I’m usually an upstate gal, but maybe I want to try something new? Below is a list of lovely weekend getaways from NYC. Any thoughts for a secluded place in the woods where our dogs can run free? Must be close enough to restaurants and culture or we’ll die.

1. Catskills. Better the devil you know. Been going to the Catskills since birth. There’s something nice about knowing where you’re going without having to explore. Especially since this will be our “relaxing” vacation with the dogs. I’m including the before-you-hit-the-Catskill-area too…New Paltz, High Falls, etc.

2. Hudson Valley. See Catskills. I’m talking the other side of the river, even though HV encompasses both sides all the way up to Albany. Rhinebeck, Red Hook, Tivoli.

3. Finger Lakes. Never been. I’m eying it as a possibility as it looks beautiful and it will probably have everything we’re looking for. Plus, my friend Scott who went to Ithaca says I’ll love it. Moosewood Restaurant and very pet friendly because of the veterinarian school. Added bonus: Seneca Falls aka “The Real Bedford Falls“! Best to hit that during Christmas season when the “It’s a Wonderful Life” festival is on.

4. Berkshires. It’s got the hikes, culture and restaurants. There’s something…goofy about the Berks. Like chainsaw-bear goofy. I like the Berks. They just don’t excite me.

5. Martha’s Vineyard/Nantucket. Never been. Whaddya think? As you can see, I’m more of a woodsy person than a beach person. I do like a laid back atmosphere. Hamptons not for me! Would I hate it here? I dunno.

6. Jersey Shore. Hanging out with Snooky and the Situation! Actually, Cape May kind of intrigues me. My senile grandmother used to talk about her childhood summers there all the time. And you know, I love me some Victorians! We can also hang with The Queen of Jersey Shore.

7. Shelter or Fire Island. Yeah, I’m grouping them together. Maybe for a weekend, but I’d get claustrophobic if I had to spend more than 3 days. How are they with dogs anyway?

Melt Snow with Pickle Juice!

Melt Snow with Pickle Juice! published on 1 Comment on Melt Snow with Pickle Juice!

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New Jersey is known for many things…Snookie, high hair, garbage aroma, The Sopranos. Well, Bergen County (BTW, Blue Laws still exist-everything closes on Sunday!) came up with a brilliant idea this year.

The county, having reached their snow removal budget, opted for a less expensive alternative to salting the roads. Pickle juice! It seems the salt in the brine will do the trick. Sounds like an awesome idea considering it’s inexpensive (if you eat a lot of pickles) and environmentally friendly.

The problem is, your sidewalk may smell of vinegar. Not a problem if you live in NJ, because it’s probably not noticeable over all the other smells. Bada-bum!

One commenter on the CNN post I lifted this from suggested sea salt as that is free and plentiful. If you live near a beach, there ya go.

New Yawk Accents: All 5 Boros

New Yawk Accents: All 5 Boros published on 1 Comment on New Yawk Accents: All 5 Boros

This is too funny! It’s not a recent video, but I just discovered it. Some woman takes us through the distinct accents of each borough. I LMFAO at Da Bronx, but wasn’t too thrilled about her Brooklyn. After 45 years, I don’t think I could tell ya which borough a person is from by hearing them talk.

Pet Friendly Flat with a Catch

Pet Friendly Flat with a Catch published on

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The Lower East Side’s Ludlow allows pets in the apartments. The owner, who also runs an animal shelter, requires that they get spayed or neutered before moving in.

I love this woman. Who’s to complain? Many landlords won’t rent to people with pets at all. At least she allows responsible animal people to live there.

Personally, I’ve been known to only rent to people with pets because I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find housing.

The only problem I see with these new apartments with tons of amenities located across from Katz’s? Well, not everyone can afford them.

Via City Room.

Subway Stories

Subway Stories published on 2 Comments on Subway Stories

So, this video of the rat in the subway car is making it’s way around the internet. Lucky for me, I’ve only ever encountered rats on the platform where I can walk away.The video reminded me of my own nightmarish subway stories. Awoken by a rat, huh? I once woke up to the guy next to me fondling my right boob. I jabbed him, but stayed right there waiting for him to try again so I could really smack him. He didn’t. Instead he followed me off the train and up Dekalb Avenue. He stopped me and had the audacity to offer me money to lift my shirt. That’s when I let him have it. And I’m glad I waited because it was sooooo worth it!

Actually, the only stories I have are pervert ones. There’s the guy who whipped it out and started jerking off in my face at 3am on the F train. We were the only ones on the car, so that was scary. I did something I learned the first time I was flashed (it happened quite often back then). I screamed my head off and acted totally nuts. He walked away. Just like the others. Now I take cabs home if I’m out too late.

I have a friend who saw someone shoot himself on the subway. That’s a sad story.

How about you?

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