Veteran comedian Richard Lewis played Carolines on Broadway over the weekend and I was lucky enough to grab tickets to the show. Never been to Carolines and guess what? Won’t be going back any time soon.

The tickets were close to $40 and there was a 2 drink minimum. No problem. Grab a drink at the bar. They “suggested” we check our coats for an extra 2 bucks. My husband was under the impression that the coat check was mandatory. Whatev. Another few bucks for the bathroom attendant. I hate when there’s a bathroom attendant and I’m guilted into tipping her. I can turn on my own water and take a paper towel, thanks.

Anyhoo, I digress. So, it’s a nice place. Not the dive bars or fast food joints I frequent (I kid. Haven’t in a good 20 years). I don’t have a problem with any of this so far, but it’s background for my story.

Here’s my beef….

After we were seated and before the show started, I left my table to relieve myself and have another awkward moment with the bathroom attendant. I fell down a step in the middle of the room and twisted my ankle. Yes, I’m a klutz, but the people who saw it and my own husband who knows how clumsy I am said that the step was in a dangerous spot. It was dark in the club and although there was a single fluorescent strip on the stair, there was no warning of it coming up. Especially as the sound system came up right before it.

So, my ankle swelled to the size of a plum. The manager and bartender gave me ice and helped me back to my seat. They were nice enough. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Totally related to Richard Lewis’ old age shtick. Nearly peed my pants at his Shecky Greene reference!

End of the night, we get the bill. Nothing comped. Our dinner. Our 2 drink minimum. Really? I’m crippled for a week (or three) from your venue and you’re still sticking me with the 2 drinks per person?

I’m not litigious, but I’m not happy. The cab fare back to Brooklyn instead of a subway, the crutches, the Ace bandages, the week of sitting on my ass, the dog walker….it all adds up. And Carolines couldn’t even acknowledge I was hurt in their club?

So, that’s it. I’m adding Carolines to Walmart list of places to boycott. I’ll find my laughs elsewhere, thank you.

*PS: Fun Facts!

* Shecky Greene is still alive.

* Richard Lewis is credited with inventing “_____ from hell”.