Eight years and two months ago I loved my country. Sure, I knew we were flawed just like any country (except maybe Canada, but they’re boring), but things were running smoothly.

And then it happened. We all know the story of the last eight years. I won’t dig up bad memories because it’s time to move forward. It’s finally over! Let’s hope these schmucks don’t try to pull anything funny and may the door slam them so hard in the ass it hurts for years.

I’ve never called myself a patriot. I ran off to Europe after high school and again a few years later. It was the Reagan years after all. But I’ve gotta say, I’m feeling pretty proud of my country today. Today I am a patriot. And I hope this excitement lasts for the next eight plus years because it feels good.

I no longer have to make excuses when I travel abroad. Screw you, Europeans! Stop complaining about us and take a look in your own damn backyards! And Morrissey, I love you, man, but you owe us an apology.

I will no longer get angry when I see someone with a Jesus fish on their car. Everyone has a right to their spiritual beliefs, but the religious right is not running the show! And you know what? Screw you, religious right! I don’t know a thing about religion, but I know your intolerance has nothing to do with Christ.

I won’t freak out when I go to an all white neighborhood. I know that not every homogeneous area is KKK. I’ve met quite a few people during the election whom I consider to have racist qualities and yet they still voted for Obama. Ok, so they have issues (as do I, on the other end of the spectrum), but thank God they were open enough to pull the lever for a brotha.

I’m experiencing something I haven’t felt in eight years. It’s like…um…I dunno…a little flicker of light inside me. I think maybe the word for it might be “Hope”? I have hope for the environment. I have hope for gay rights. I have hope for world peace. I’m walking on sunshine and sliding down rainbows! I pray that Obama is everything we’ve dreamed he is.

Congratulations to us all! Mission accomplished. We’ve arrived.