So our new tenants moved in less than 24 hours after the old tenants left. We knew we would have some work to do, but we worked out a deal with the newbies: Their labor in exchange for rent. Seemed like a good idea at the time until we realized the state of the apartment.

The former tenants left the place broom swept. We actually did take some money off their deposit because one roomie was living there with his head up his ass. I dunno…he must’ve been having some wild parties in his bathroom. Anyway, we didn’t expect them to do a thorough cleaning and we were prepared to hire cleaners. We thought we would have time to schedule cleaners of our choice, but it was too disgusting for the newbies to live there for one day, so we needed emergency cleaning help. (No, I wasn’t going to touch it!)

I called the place we used for our post renovation cleaning, Today’s Maid. I was thoroughly happy with them last time. Two people spent 4 hours cleaning windows, cabinets, dusting down molding, etc. It was $350 which was actually less than some of the other prices I was getting at the time. Today’s Maid said they would see if they had someone available and get back to me. I waited about an hour and then called back. “No, we can’t help you today.” Well, thanks for letting me know! Ok, that’s it for Today’s Maid.

So I resorted to Craigslist. I called and called. Finally one woman said she would do it. It was $125 and the job she did was worth about $25. At least she scratched the surface. They got some grime up so the guys could live there for a few days. Oh, PS: They sounded awesome from the posting….organic, green, cleaning supplies, essential oils. Total scam!

Newbie tenant got a referral from a co-worker for Good Impressions Cleaning so we had high hopes for the second cleaner. And hey, whaddya know? They did a great job! Windows, stove (Woo, it needed it!), scrubbed grout, the works! The price? $140. They’re based in Staten Island, but service all five boros. $140 for a move out? A weekly cleaning must be totally affordable!

Let’s move on to the larger issue at hand: the roaches. It was infested. No, INFESTED! We had no idea because the roomies never said anything. And why should they? They invited them in by leaving food around. Luckily, the other apartments didn’t get any.

So newbie called the exterminator. I don’t trust exterminators. First, I’m a DIY person. Second, I believe those stories about them creating more pests so they can stay in business. (But I also believe the aliens killed JFK, so don’t take my word for it.) And third, see my mosquito post for how I feel about killing living creatures.

The exterminator was called Absolute Death. He used a non toxic bait and poison because of the cats in the apartment. It’s a fructose based gel injected on surfaces and in cracks that attracts the roaches. They eat it and carry it on to the other roaches who eat their feces and carcasses, so it keeps working. I’m not sure of the exact poison he used, but it looks like it might be Maxforce.

A less expensive way (and perhaps more pleasant?) to kill roaches is to leave some cheap wine around. Supposedly, they drink it and die. I don’t know if this works, it’s just something I saw online.

If you don’t want to kill them and just want to send them over to your neighbors, some natural repellents include garlic oil, catnip or bay leaves. Roaches also don’t like light, heat and air flow. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the scattering cockroach dance once the light is turned on.

FYI, did you know the cockroach is related to the cricket and grasshopper? I never thought about it, but it makes sense. I can see the resemblance.

Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Roaches