Are you pretty well set in your career and still wasting money on rent?  Come on, take the bullfighter by his nuts and let’s get this show on the road. From the Bushwick native getting angry about gentrification to my Williamsburg friend Judy who may get lucky enough to be bought out by the building’s new owner, it’s time to make wine out of those sour grapes!

Ok, so I don’t know the Bushwick woman’s situation. On the other hand, Judy is sane enough to know that her eviction can potentially lead to something positive. She has her head on straight and will do the right thing. But for those of you making excuses as to why you can’t buy your own place, I’ve got counter logic. *This doesn’t pertain to you if you really don’t want to/cannot own for good reason.

So how is being priced out/evicted a positive thing? Well, I’m a firm believer in “Something better will come along.” That better scenario is YOU becoming the property owner so that nobody can control your housing situation ever again. Unless of course, you default on your mortgage or you happen to live where some developer wants to build a stadium.

Prices are too damn high? Well the first thing you need to ask yourself is why you are being such a diva. No, you don’t have to live in Cobble Hill/ Park Slope/ West Village/ Williamsburg/ insertoverpricedneighborhoodhere. Get over yourself! Haven’t you heard that Queens is the new Brooklyn and The Bronx is the new Queens? Parts of New Jersey are affordable. What about Yonkers? Did you know that you can get a cute Victorian for $150k in Beacon? Look at this $28,900 house in Newburgh! Holy crap, I might buy it myself!

Down payment and loan issues? Ok, lemme go back to my first house when we didn’t have a pot to piss in and my credit was in the toilet. Luckily, our mommies helped out. We are far from being trustafarians and in fact, my folks were totally working class. But a few dollars from each mom plus a co-signing from my mother on the loan helped. Unfortunately, not everyone has family members (Don’t forget to hit up brothers and sisters!) who can help.

So, you gotta come up with your own shekels. Do you realize how much you can actually put away if you tried? Give up the lattes, the cigarettes, the beer. Cook dinner instead of ordering in. Use coupons. Skip the vacation. Buy second hand clothes (It’s vintage. It’s cool.) It won’t be terribly fun, but give it a shot for a few months and you just might come up with the closing costs (yeah, don’t forget to include that).

Buy a fixer upper. You don’t want to or you don’t know anything about renovating? Boo hoo. Learn how, you milksop. Buying a “renovated” place does not mean it won’t turn into a money pit. Do it yourself so you know what’s behind those walls. Pay less. Work on it over time. Put some sweat into it.

“But I’m not handy.” There are people out there who fix drains and roof leaks for a living. They are called contractors and handypersons. Hire them. But really, you should have a basic understanding of your house because a large percentage of these folks will rip you off. True story! Or just buy a condo and pay for maintenance.

Finally, try for a two family. Let those sorry ass tenants pay your mortgage this time around. Feels good, doesn’t it?