Image is from Hoarders.

I’ve been looking for a house for longer than expected now (Yeah, yeah, I know. 2 months isn’t a long time.) and I’m starting to lose it. It’s bad enough that brokers sometimes do their sellers a disservice by not properly marketing their homes, but when a seller decides to go it alone you would think they care about the sale more than Joe Broker who’s out to make a quick buck.

There are owners selling their own houses that do an awesome job, but I’ve encountered some doozies on this search. What should a good For Sale by Owner look like? I did a FSBO checklist waaayy back when I started this blog. The same still holds true.

Here’s a list for you remedial FSBO’s whom I’ve been seeing on Craigslist. If you want to sell that house, you have to take it up a notch. I mean, really. Come on.

1. An address would be nice. Ok, you don’t want to post your address? How about telling us what town the house is located in? “Dutchess County” is big.

2. Pictures. It’s awful, awful, awful that you cannot post a single image of the exterior of the house. Your description reads “House is green.” Ok, I’ll buy it based on that! And when I email you to ask if you have photos, don’t respond with “No.” Get off your fat lazy ass and take some friggin pictures! WTF???

3. How about a reply? I suppose I should give kudos to the sellers who actually respond to my questions with a “No.” At least they respond.

4. When are you going to show it? Simple question. If you work full time and can’t set up appointments or open houses, how do you plan on having people look at it?

5. Clean that mofo! You know, nobody wants to see your dirty dishes in the sink and cigarette butts lying around. And certainly, nobody wants to step in dog shit in your yard. Too much trouble for you to get rid of your clutter and stage? Fine. But at least clean. Please.

Ok, I think that’s it. Thank you for hearing me out. I feel better now.