I try my best to be an eco-friendly gal, but one thing I cannot put up with is the heat. Sorry, but I have my air conditioner running all the time in the summer. Please do as I say and not as I do so you can make up for my own hypocrisy.

1. Turn off electrical heat sources. Well, you obviously shouldn’t be cooking a lasagna on the hottest day of the year. Don’t forget that the oven isn’t the only thing giving off heat. Dishwasher? Clothes dryer? And turn off those lights!

2. Screw you, Sun. Ok, your lights are off and now I’m asking you to draw your shades or curtains. Hel-lo? Sun=The original heat source. So, you’re sitting in the dark. At least it’s cooler. You know what? Get naked while you’re at it. Nobody will see you.

3. Ice, meet fan. Stick a bucket of ice or cold water in front of a fan. That should cool down that nasty hot air blowing on you.

4. Have a wet T-shirt contest. It may seem daffy, but when I’ve been caught without a/c, I just step into a cold shower with all of my clothes. They’ll stay wet long enough to cool down some. The shoes can come off.

5. Eat spicy foods. Yeah, for real.

6. My husband says hot tea helps but I don’t believe him.

7. Make your own air conditioner.