When I saw the CNN Living headline yesterday “Brooklyn Brewhaha: Babies in Bars“, I knew it was about Park Slope. Of course it was. It’s well known around Brooklyn that Park Slope is the land of entitled parents, but it was kinda funny that CNN decided to weigh in on it.
So yeah, in a nutshell, parents are bringing their kids into bars and child free patrons aren’t all that happy with it. They want to be able to curse and fall down drunk without someone telling them to watch their language. They don’t want to trip over the $800 strollers blocking the entrance and they don’t want to entertain the kiddies when the parents are otherwise engaged.
As an unwavering non-breeder (who doesn’t really go to bars much anymore), I’d like to put in my two cents.
You want to bring your kid to a bar? Ok, but here are the rules:
1. Non breeders and parents who are taking the night off are free to say or do whatever they please. Because it’s a bar, not a playground!
2. I don’t want to hear your little brat scream and cry.
3. No, I’m not making eye contact. I don’t think your offspring is the cutest thing on earth. Tell it to leave me alone.
4. If I trip over your rugrat while making my 12th trip to the bathroom and knock him over, I keep walking.
5. You better keep those diapers clean and I don’t want to see any spittle or snot or you’ll be cleaning MY puke off the chair.
6. If it’s ok to bring little Damien into a drinking establishment, you shouldn’t have a problem with my dogs, correct?
Ok, I think that oughta do it.
12 Comments
Here in Philly we do have at least one bar (The Abbaye) that allows dogs 🙂
I’m with you. I have kids (now grown)and I would never have brought them to a bar. I would love it if I could bring my dogs more places.
Dogs, sure. Kids, no thank you.
If children stare at me, I just stare back…they’ll give in eventually and never ever, ever look at you again…trust me.
[…] they asked back in 2007. Over at Reclaimed Home Wednesday, “an unwavering nonbreeder” takes it one step further with an almost meta-catnip-for-commenters question: “If it’s O.K. to bring little Damien […]
My dogs are my kids, but even I don’t want to sit in a bar watching them….because they won’t sit still. I’d prefer to leave them home unless it’s strictly a “dog bar”, not just a bar that allows dogs.
There are places for kids and dogs. They’re called parks, not bars. But of course I love playing with other people’s dogs in public places! Kids…nah.
Time to grow up dude. Heavy intolerance
while your at it, you should invent more bullshit exclusive rules for your utopian bar universe like. No people with glasses. No ugly people. No people that don’t have facial hair. No bald people. No sneezing. No coughing.
As a guy who brings his kid to bars, I say: Amen to these rules. Parents need to realize that to bring their kid to a bar is to ask everyone else there to make an exception. In return for this kindness, they should be considerate. It’s what keeps it all turning.
PS. There is nothing I like more than a bar with dogs in it.
Sorry for the indefinite pronouns. I mean parents should be considerate. Other patrons should be drinking.
If the four eyed, ugly, facially hairy, bald, sneezing, coughing people were over 21, I wouldn’t have a problem with them.
Hilarious! I can’t believe you only got one person giving you a hard time. The worst thing I ever saw was a parent changing her kid’s diaper at the dinner table (in the stroller, but whatever) at Marion’s on the Bowery. I nearly fell off my chair.
Can you cross-stitch these rules on some fabric and frame it so I can purchase it from you at the Brooklyn Flea and hang it in all of the bars around my home? Thanks.