Gorgeous bones

What’s that saying? Money can’t buy taste? We’ll, I’m not all that inspired by Bernie Madoff’s penthouse apartment, which will be listed for about $10 million. I don’t mean the apartment itself. It’s the extremely expensive decor that leaves me unimpressed. Ok, so perhaps I’m the one lacking in taste. I would just do something awful like paint the walls purple. But this place is just a snooze fest! What gives?

You know what this looks like to me? It looks soooo put together. So balanced. Like nobody actually lives here. Boringly perfect. Like it makes me want to vomit. Maybe because I know an asshole lived here.

Ah, and here we have more beige. Come on, if you want a boring color on the wall, at least do a shade of white. Brighten it up a bit! Beige is just depressing. And ok, I know that all of the expensive tshcotkes and artwork have been hidden, but stage the friggen joint! That table is screaming for some wax fruit. (That’s a joke. I’m not THAT tacky.)

OMG, dated!! My BFF had this decor in her bedroom during junior high. It looks like Holly Hobby puked. What’s wrong, Bernie? Too busy ripping people off to update your house?

Visualize: Scarface snorting coke off that counter top. Need I say more?

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