The plan to replace floors and repair walls in a single week has gone awry. Oh, we’re almost there. But almost isn’t good enough.

Our house guests will be arriving tomorrow. The third coat of floor paint was still wet as of last night, so I didn’t start to paint my stencil until this morning. Then it needs two coats of poly. We’re gonna have to go with water based at this point, but we really did want to use toxic oil for maximum pee protection. My guess is that we’ll be moving furniture back into the room five minutes before they arrive.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

There was the time we moved out of Park Slope and we were cleaning up from a last minute renovation as the new tenants were moving in. Actually, I don’t think we’ve EVER been ready when new tenants move in. There’s always a week or two of us invading their space to perfect our handy work.

Then there was the time these same house guests came to visit us in Kingston. We were out getting groceries when they arrived and they let themselves in to discover piles of sawdust all over the living room and the house wasn’t very clean. They never let us live that down and stayed in hotels for years. I don’t know what made them change their minds about the hotels. They’re completely hygienic (germophobes) so why stay in Cat Pee Central? Anyway, it’s good they come visit us once a year. It’s the only time we thoroughly clean.

But why take on these huge projects that any sane person knows they can’t accomplish in a week? Oh, if it was a simple floor, it could’ve  been done. But my husband says “You can’t do anything simple! You always have these crazy ideas!” He’s talking about the stencil design on the floor. It’s true. I always have to use a million different colors or some special technique or wallpaper. I get bored with simple. Simple is for sissies.

My husband likes to play the blame game, but he’s no better. Like it’s my idea we bought two houses that need total rehabilitation. Nobody twisted his arm! And I’m the one who has to beg him to hire help. He says he’ll take care of things, but with what time?

Here’s what I’ve discovered. I don’t know about the husband, but I’m a type B personality who thinks she’s type A. I take on all this crap at once…2 DIY restorations, 2 businesses, 8 pets, I’m planning my high school reunion and hosting the Blogade within a week of each other….and I think I can do it all. But nothing gets done right.

Is it me or is the whole world like this?