Ethan Wolff ala “Frommer’s NYC Free & Dirt Cheap” has been answering questions on City Room about living cheaply in NYC. Since I have a bad case of PMS today, I’m just going to bitch about the questions rather than give you any real insight.

Question 1: As a recent transplant to New York City from a much more affordable city, the price of groceries has shocked me the most. What tips do you have for finding decent prices on groceries?

His answer: Trader Joes, Park Slope Food Coop, East Village Cheese, Chinatown, Shop Smart on Ludlow.

My answer: Go back to your little podunk town if you can’t handle it and stop your whining!

Question 2: Are there any classy bars where one can find inexpensive (like, $7) drinks below 34 Street during normal evening hours (like, after 8 p.m.)?

His answer: Verlaine on Rivington, Blue Owl on 2nd Ave & 12th St.

My answer: Classy? Who the F do you think you are? Jackie O? Look honey, if you can’t afford class, you’ll have to hang out at the dives with the rest of us. Holiday Cocktail Lounge: drinks are $4 any time of night. And PS….I don’t think $7 is so inexpensive. But then I’m not a classy broad.

Question 3: What are some good, cheap restaurants where you can B.Y.O.B. without paying a corkage fee (especially in the Hell’s Kitchen/Chelsea area)?

His answer: Nook, Wondee Siam or Zen Palate, all on 9th Ave. Tartine. Ivo & Lulu.

My answer: This didn’t annoy me. And woo-hoo for Zen Palate!

Question 4: Inexpensive, yet high quality theater that doesn’t require that I stand in line for hours on end? Also (am I limited to one?) cheap movie theaters in Manhattan where not everyone feels the need to yell at the screen or bring their screaming infants?

His answer: Off- and Off-Off-Broadway are your natural choices for affordable theater (I assume TKTS isn’t your speed.) You might also consider moonlighting as an usher. Alas, cheap movie theaters in Manhattan have gone the way of investment banks.

My answer: Gosh, don’t we have a lot of demands? Was Off Bway not obvious to you or is it not good enough for your high quality taste? I like the usher answer. As for movies, looks like you should get a subscription to Netflix.

Question 5: What is your favorite free or cheap place or sight in each of the five boroughs?

His answer: Manhattan: The National Museum of the American Indian. The Morgan Library. The New Museum. Governors Island

Queens: Queens Museum of Art. P.S. 1 Contemporary Art Center. Socrates Sculpture Park.

Brooklyn:  Green-Wood Cemetery

The Bronx: Wave Hill

Staten Island: The ferry.  Snug Harbor Cultural Center. Staten Island Botanical Gardens.

My answer: Good question. Ok, you are spared my wrath. I would have added The Metropolitan Museum (suggested donation) and Coney Island boardwalk.