F*in Florida. The state is like a wart on the ass of America. Here are some things I’ve witnessed while being stuck down here. A few from my own parent’s home. Someone should be teaching these seniors how to live a greener lifestyle. But it ain’t gonna be me.

1. Hummers. Lots of ’em.

2. Lack of low flow shower heads. I injured myself in the shower this morning after being blasted by the force of the water. Nearly tore off a nipple. WTF?

3. They love their styrofoam!

4. LED bulbs? What’s that?

5. Air Conditioning. I couldn’t live without it in this heat either. But the thermostats can’t be programmed? So you leave it on the entire day so the house will be cool when you get home? And my personal favorite: Leave those windows wide open!

6. BJ’s, Sam’s Club = Lots of wasted food.

7. No bike lanes

8. Sneaking out to water the lawn in the middle of the night due to water restrictions.

9. Leave the car running while standing.

10. Global warming? No such thing!