I saw this rental share on Curbed and thought it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Then I made my way over to the Craig’s ad and the text made me puke in my mouth alittle.

” We work in film, photography, music, and the tattoo industry- thus you’d have access to a wealth of equipment in addition to great hook-ups to just about anything including the best parties in town & beyond”

“We are internationally traveled & speak 6 languages between us”

“First off: If you need your neighborhood to look like it was pulled out of a Norman Rockwell painting, THIS IS NOT THE APARTMENT FOR YOU. This is not Pleasantville folks, this is Bushwick. It’s dirty, it’s grimy, and it’s fabulous. Street art = YES; White picket fences = NO. If you need a Starbucks just around the corner, THIS IS NOT THE APARTMENT FOR YOU. If you don’t mind grabbing a coffee from the local bodega or neighborhood coffee shop, then perhaps THIS IS THE APARTMENT FOR YOU.”

“…if you like shouting randomly, dancing randomly, or laughing randomly, if you like playing pretend and using your imagination to create or inspire you like when you were a kid, if you like the idea of pretending your kitchen is in the ocean…”

Get over yourselves, kids! You’re not living in Iraq, ok? You’re in Brooklyn. Gosh, I don’t know how us old timers survived on our bodega coffee when the whole city was grimy and lacking in Starbucks.