Don’t get excited. Not this home.

See that house above? Door Sixteen (straight outta Newburgh) posted it on her site. It’s on the market for $199k and she lives right across the street so she can help you with your decorating. Not that she offered. Anyway, seeing the listing peaked my interest in revisiting Newburgh. I was going to look into homes for under $200k, but alas, there were too many. So, I narrowed it down to under $100k.

Listing by price: descending order.

This building is located near the hospital and the front faces the river. It’s 3000 square feet in need of rehab and listed as a single family. There was once an extra apartment downstairs, but you would need to go the legalization route. $99.9k for a solid brick building near the river? Not bad.

Hold on…Is that a castle?! Built in 1850, it’s only 1000 square feet. It’s listing as having 6 rooms, but only 1 bedroom. No interior shots. It’s less than 1/2 acre. But it looks like a castle! And oh yeah, it’s $99k.

This looks sweet! Listing says “AS IS”, “WHERE IS”. At least they show interior photos! It’s in need of plumbing, electric and heat. Hmm, ok, maybe it’s not such a bargain. Gotta figure it will cost at least another $100k to rehab (and that’s DIY), so it’s a better bet to find a livable home for $200k. She sure is sweet though. $95k.

And the winner, coming in at $39.9k is this little cutie! This is a 3BR bank owned property with less than 1000 square feet. It’s in need of rehab. No duh. I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it’s in. I don’t know how bad the interior is. Who the f*ck cares? IT’S $39,900!!!! And it’s not a friggen double wide!

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